Peace

July, for me, was about turbulence and turmoil. The longing for you burning through me, hollowing me out so, for a while there, I was but a husk made of pure desire, no room for thoughts of anything but you.

Now it's August, though, and I think I'm finding peace. The longing hasn't abated, no… the ratchet in my heart makes sure that that only ever gets stronger. But I've realized a few things. I've realized that I'm not ready for you yet, not if I can be thrown into such chaos and confusion by six simple words. That this journey is only just beginning, despite the many years you've been in my life. That, while I hope you might appreciate the improvements to my body in the past year, I still need to do so much work on my soul. That patience is key. Good things come to those who wait, right? And I can't think of anything better than you…

So, wait I shall. And I'll be putting in that work, making myself ready for you. Envisioning a beautiful future we could share so that it might one day be made manifest… but at the universe's pace, not my frenzied one. Peaceful.

Eternally yours,
♒️